Slytherin Ambition
by Sassy SOBettes
Summary: For the V-Day Challenge! When Kevin Bole ambitiously decides to make a romantic Valentine's Day dinner for his girlfriend, chaos ensues! One-shot SOBcookie


**Notes:** To Kate, for the V-Day Challenge! ::glomps my plot-bunny tosser::

**Disclaimer:** Kate owns Kevin. Kevin owns Kate. I don't own either of them. Don't sue me. You won't get them that way.

~*~*~*~*~*~

            People always said that sweethearts from school never lasted. And perhaps, that was true.

            Of course, being the honorable, self-respecting Slytherins that they were, Kevin Bole and Kate Le Fay would probably have hexed beyond recognition anyone who dared to call either of them something with the word "sweet" in the title. So, as they were obviously not "SWEEThearts", they were allowed to "last" even after both had left Hogwarts.

            Of course, this was not always an easy task; though both of them worked for the Ministry of Magic, their departments were quite removed from each other, and due to work and related constraints, the two led separate lives, and were only able to see each other occasionally.

            Of course, being the practical, efficient Slytherins that they were, they made the very _most_ out of these visits.

            And also, due to their Slytherinishness, the two were ambitious, and determined to make their relationship last. Yes, there would be conflicts. And yes, there would be arguments and such due to the fact that their lives were much more busy now than before. But they _would_ make it work, by Merlin!

            After all, with the spectacular make-up shagging, or… come to think of it, the shagging that took place after long stretches of not seeing each other… all of the shagging, in any case, what did they have to lose?

            And so it was, on this most romantic day of the year, Kevin Bole found himself in Kate's flat.

            Kate was not home at the moment; being an Unspeakable, she often had to go to heaven-knew-where for long stretches of time, and supposedly, doing things that if she told him, she would have to kill him. However, she was due to come home this evening, and of course, it being Valentine's day and Kevin being the charming, wonderful boyfriend (who had not gotten any shagging for a whole two weeks) that he was, had meticulously planned to surprise her.

            Kevin had managed to cajole Kate's friend Morrigun into letting him into Kate's flat that afternoon, after he had left his work at the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Morrigun had kindly opened the door of Kate's flat for him, and left him to his own devices, assuming that he knew exactly what he was doing.

            Rather unfortunate.

            Kevin had an assiduously worked-out _plan_ of what he was going to do, of course. It wasn't too hard or complicated in principle: Cook a romantic dinner for two for Kate, surprise her when she comes home, eat with her, whisper sweet nothings, shag all night. It was not very difficult to understand.

            Now… to put things into action…

            All right. The roses on the table, that was easy enough. Put them in vase. Add water. Do not knock over. Good. The music… that was easy too. Turn on WWN. Switch station to love songs. Switch again after deciding that love songs were too sappy. Now… the cooking…

            He rifled about for an apron, and managed to find one after knocking over a large container of flour. It was frilly, and had the words "Kiss the Chef" in loopy writing on the chest, but he figured that it would be better to put it on… he already had flour on his robes, it would be best not to get every other condiment and ingredient on him as well. The point was to cook dinner for Kate. _Not_ to _be_ dinner for Kate.

            All right. There was a chicken. The chicken should be marinated, of course… then baked, basting constantly with a delicate sauce. Garnished with basil, and rubbed down with seasoned salt.

            Right.

            Forget about the chicken. It would be hard to do all of that… when poor Kevin didn't have any idea what 'basting' meant, and how exactly to mix a marinade.

            And the point was _not_ to poison Kate. Because, chances are… Fallon would come over, give Kate the antidote, and then both of them would bring their wrath upon his hapless head. And things would be very, very bad. Indeed… who in their right minds would want to hack off an Unspeakable… and the psycho-knife-fighting-bitch-and-proud-of-it friend of said Unspeakable, even accidentally? Kevin was many things, but stupid and masochistic were not among his virtues. After all, he was not a Gryffindor.

            After rifling through _all_ the food, however, he figured out that the chicken would actually be the easiest to cook. After all, it only had ten or so ingredients. And… oh, he was smart. He could improvise. Couldn't he?

            All right. He could do this.

            Marinade… somewhere, vague in the back of his mind, he recalled hearing about how vinegar was always found in marinades. So, Kevin went and searched for that particular condiment. After knocking over a glass (which thankfully he was able to repair with a spell), he found it. All right. Marinate chicken. Soak in vinegar.

            Now… what to do?

            He remembered something else… but of course! Someone had told him once… that to make meat tender, one should use soda! Smiling at his ingenuity and excellent memory, Kevin found a container of soda, and generously poured it over the vinegary chicken.

            Blimey… was it _supposed_ to be foaming like a rabid dog's mouth?

            Ah well, whatever… that was probably pretty much it… now, to bake.

            Lighting a fire in the oven with a wave of his wand, Kevin stuck the chicken inside.

            It should turn out pretty nicely. After all, there was certainly a strong, smoky smell emanating from the oven. The chicken would surely be flavorful.

            _VERY_ flavorful…

            Was the oven _supposed_ to shake and smoke like an unhappy dragon?

            _"STUPEFY!"_

            And he knew no more.

*~*~*

            Kate Le Fay had come home after a long, grueling mission just ready to floo her boyfriend and wish him a happy Valentine's Day.

            And then… when she was about to go to the kitchen to do just that, she noticed a strange, smoky smell coming from the kitchen. And the house was unnaturally warm.

            Someone was there.

            Someone who was obviously not _supposed_ to be there, for no one had her key except Morrigun, and the latter certainly would not be causing… whatever was going on back there.

            Eyes narrowed in suspicion, wand drawn, Kate wended her way to the kitchen, and instinctively, as the shadowy form of another person appeared within her line of vision, she hit the housebreaker with a Stunning spell.

            And the oven gave a groan of discontented rage and burst open, revealing a blackened, charred ruin of what appeared to be a chicken….

*~*~*

            _"Ennervate."_

            Kevin blinked, and opened his eyes, bewildered. What exactly was going on? Kate… _Kate_?!

            What about his dinner?

            "What… exactly… were you trying to do, in my kitchen?" she was asking him gently.

            "Valentine's dinner…" he muttered, embarrassedly looking down at his hands. He smelled like very odd smoke.

            Kate smiled wryly, "That's very thoughtful of you… but do you know how to cook?"

            Kevin gave her a shamefaced grin, "Erm, I can make sandwiches."

            Kate laughed, and shook her head, "I cleaned up the kitchen… nice roses… the vase shattered when the oven exploded, but I put them in an oversized butterbeer mug, so that should work. As for the chicken… well, I assume it was a chicken… let's just… forget about that, shall we?"

            Kevin sighed and nodded, "Sorry…"

            "Oh, that's all right, I'm touched, really," Kate smirked, "For you to go to such lengths to attempt something so horribly complex as cooking… all for me…"

            Kevin pouted slightly, "Don't tease, Kate."

            "I'm not," Kate grinned, "Nice apron, by the way… I think I'll take the advice." Leaning over him, her brown hair falling over her shoulders and brushing the sides of his face, she kissed him, long and hard, before moving back and pulling him up from the couch.

            "Now, you were saying about sandwiches?"

            The two Slytherins spent a happy Valentine's dinner eating peanut-butter jelly sandwiches, and later on, taking care of the whipped cream and strawberries that had been salvaged from the wreck that was Kate's kitchen, and it was duly noted and remembered that while ambitiousness was a good and admirable quality, certain lines were to be drawn. Culinary arts were not to be messed with.

            And besides, even though they'd just had sandwiches, the romantic Valentine's evening still passed quite happily. Nothing like shagging in the shower to clear a body of burning-food smoke fumes, after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay! That's my first (yes… first. I shall probably be writing several) V-Day cookie! Hope you like it, dears!

~Thalia~


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